5 Ways to Redefine Success When You’re in a Flare

(Because Hustle Culture Wasn’t Built for Baddies — So We Burn the Rulebook)

In the chronic illness world, the only constant is change.

One day you’re thriving. The next, you’re fighting for your life in a bed burrito with your favorite blankets. And while “flare” is a universal term, the experience is anything but universal even amongst people with the same diseases.

I’ve lived with IBD for 21 years. Flares and I don’t just know each other, we’re in a really intimate on-again, off-again situationship which neither of us asked for.

Back when I worked in corporate? Flaring felt like professional failure.

Now, as an entrepreneur? It still tests me, but it no longer defines me, and I have the freedom to create my own rules around it. Even if you are not an entrepreneur, I hope these 5 ways can help you too, and if not come find me on Instagram @badass.w.a.bad.ass and let me know in the comments what you have found to work for you.

Because here’s the truth:

The world measures success in output. Chronic illness demands we measure it in survival, strategy, and self-preservation.

Now, as an entrepreneur? It still tests me but it no longer defines me, and I have the freedom to create my own rules around it. Even if you are not an entrepreneur I hope these 5 ways can help you too.

So let’s talk about rewriting the rules.

1. Your Capacity Is Not a Comparison Metric

Your energy levels are never going to look like someone else’s—even someone with the same diagnosis.

Someone will always look like they’re doing more while sick on social media. Scrolling and wondering “how do they do it all during a flare?” isn’t helpful or inspirational but is self sabotage.

Comparing your flare performance to someone else’s highlight reel is like rating fish on their ability to climb trees.

Your capacity is not broken.

It’s informative.

2. KPIs Can Kick Rocks — We Track a New Kind of KPIs Now

In corporate, success is built on Key Performance Indicators.

In chronic illness? Success is built on Key PEOPLE Indicators.

Did you:

• Text a friend back?
• Make someone laugh?
• Step into community instead of collapsing into isolation?
• Make ONE person feel less alone?

Congrats. You changed the world more than most LinkedIn bros ever will. Plus you still took care of yourself, and that is the most important part.

3. Use Spoon Math, Not Shame Math

Spoon Theory is not a metaphor anymore…it’s an economic system.

If a flare increases fatigue, pain, and brain fog, your “budget” for energy changes. And that means reallocating your spoons toward:

• What must happen
• What feeds your body or soul
• What actually moves the needle

Everything else can wait.

Not forever — just for now.

4. Create Activity Tiers Based on Your Energy, Not Your To-Do List

My flare system looks like this:

Level 1 (High capacity): Strategic work — writing, research, emails, planning

Level 2 (Medium energy): Editing videos, light admin, tasks that are easier on my body and brain

Level 3 (Survival mode, flare in charge): Tiny wins — but wins nonetheless

➡️ Answering one email? Baddie behavior.

➡️ Drinking water? Iconic.

➡️ Resting without guilt? Revolutionary.

5. Grace Isn’t Soft. It’s a Power Move.

Hustle culture taught us that being human is a weakness.

Chronic illness exposes the truth: it’s the prerequisite.

Your house can be messy.

Your inbox can survive without you.

Your productivity does not determine your worth.

Try this instead:

“My job today is to stay in my body, not at war with it.”

“Urgent is not automatically important.”

“Rest is not the consequence. It’s the strategy.”

Because sustainable rebels don’t burn out. They burn the blueprint that was never made with them in mind to begin with.

Final Reminder:

Success during a flare doesn’t look like discipline.

It looks like:

survival + self-trust + saying no to a system that never accounted for you.

And redefining success this way?

Yeah, that’s not coping.

That’s leadership.

I’m not lowering my standards. I’m overthrowing the scale.