5 Tips for Getting Yourself Out of a Movement Rut

There’s no doubt about it, the biggest concern I hear from movers or aspiring movers with chronic illness is: “How am I supposed to fit a regular movement practice into an already over-subscribed and unpredictable life of daily commitments?”.

The advice we get from experts and fitness gurus is usually around “what” to do: “5 Ab Exercises That Will Make You Weep!” or “The Glute Burner Sure to Turn Heads!” or whatever. But is that really the hurdle? That you haven’t found the right core exercise yet?

Let’s get real for a second: no one has actually invented a new way to exercise in like a hundred years. No matter what your goals are when it comes to physical activity, there are tried and tested ways to achieve them that don’t necessarily require fancy equipment (yes, I’m even saying this as a Pilates teacher!), or a complicated certification, or a particular existing level of fitness.

You and I both know that no matter how many different variations they come up with for a squat or a push-up, and no matter how many exciting gadgets and gizmos they invent to gamify exercise, none of these things is going to fling us out of our chairs and into a loving relationship with being active. (Except maybe that bed from the Jetsons – I have always wished they would actually build one of those.)

The question we should instead be trying to answer is: “Why is it SO HARD to do the movement we know we need?” If you know that you need to move your body in some kind of way throughout the week and yet days and weeks go by and you feel stuck in a rut, you are not alone.

This is, in my opinion, the fundamental challenge we all face, particularly as women juggling demanding careers and dreams and homes and relationships. So here’s my tips for building a movement practice that sticks.

1. Stop Listening to the “Shoulds” gremlins

You might be a perfectionist or a people pleaser if you’ve got a bad case of the “shoulds” (guilty as charged!) You know what I mean: I should be able to get up earlier, I “should” be able to cook wholesome meals every day, I should be in a higher paying career. Nothing good comes from the “shoulds”. Only guilt and demotivation.

So when you try to start building a new movement practice and the first thing in your mind is a should statement about your strength or capacity or energy levels or exercise clothes, it’s highly unlikely that the result will be “let’s do more of THIS!” 

In general, the shoulds come from outside of us. Unfortunately, marketing is full of shoulds. It turns out that a population shoulding all over itself is very responsive to the suggestion that some purchase will make that feeling of inadequacy go away.

And buying something is just a lot easier than trying to replan out your life. But there is no human in this world who has to live inside your body except you. So anyone else’s opinion about what you and what it should be doing, is irrelevant.

If your instinct has been to criticize yourself for decades, this certainly isn’t going to change overnight.

But I am 100 percent confident that continuing to allow your inner critic to compare you to some other version it thinks you should be will eventually lead to giving up. Every time you choose to do anything that is good for your body and mind, head off the “shoulds” with an inner mantra rooted in appreciation for the tremendous effort it takes to make time to care for yourself.

Something like: “I am so proud of myself for showing up.”

2. Drop the all-or-nothing mindset

Somewhere along the way, the sensation of moving our bodies got inextricably tied to numbers. First there’s the weight crap; the longing to see a certain number on the scale or fit into a certain size jeans. (This is closely tied to the “shoulds” and probably deserves its own post.)

But even outside of the pressures to attain the statistics of approval that were drilled into us as teenagers, you will see target numbers of minutes, days of the week and levels of intensity in the physical activity recommendations that have been published by the World Health Organization and the American Heart Association. We see these in doctors’ offices (which we visit often) and on our food and almost everywhere we turn.

These well-intentioned guidelines are intended to motivate. They come specifically from a place of wanting to prevent cardiovascular disease. But when it comes to the benefits of exercise, this is such a small part of the puzzle.

I also think that target volumes can give the impression that there is some threshold you have to reach for movement to matter at all. Otherwise – don’t bother. 

Nobody likes the feeling of putting in a ton of effort on something just to find out it was insufficient, so who would want to keep trying to chase after a measuring stick that feels unreachable. But it just isn’t true. How and when you move your body depends entirely on why you’re doing it.

The cool thing about physical activity is that its benefits are dose dependent – in other words, every single minute you do is enough to make a difference. Every. Single. Minute. So take that fancy watch off and just enjoy the sensations that movement can create–both during your practice and for hours after you have moved.

3. Stop clinging to other people’s whys

Let’s talk about motivation. Why are you here anyway? What is it that entices you to even be trying to fit movement into a life that is already stuffed full to the gills? It better be something good because behavior change is damn hard as it is.

The problem is that this is where our friend from #1, the “shoulds”, comes in again. Now I am going to say something that may blow your mind: exercise is not a moral obligation. You are neither a more ethical nor more valuable human being if you exercise.

And while all the world’s wellness marketing seems intent on making you think so, you aren’t guaranteed professional success, deeper human connection or a higher net worth by going to the gym.

So if all that is off the table, why bother at all? The truth is that only you can decide that. And whatever comes to your mind first you are probably going to need to ask yourself “the five whys” to get underneath the real, raw truth of your desire to move.

Here’s a few things to ponder. I’ll bet there is at least one activity that brings a sense of fulfillment and joy to your days. Whatever that thing is, you probably want to make sure you can continue doing it as long as possible. Whether it’s knitting, singing, walking your dog, or gardening, all of these things require physical stamina of some kind. This is a great place to start for deciding why you move. 

If you are someone with chronic illness, there is a really good chance physical activity is also recommended for symptom management.

There is overwhelming evidence that just about every system of the body is positively impacted by some amount of movement every day. This is one area where you can have some agency in your body and hopefully that brings with it a sense of empowerment.

Before you even begin to contemplate building a movement practice, you need to get clear on how it is connected to something that lights your heart on fire and fills you with hope. And when you say that appreciative mantra from #1, get in the habit of visualizing your “why” at the same time.

4. Stop worrying if you’re doing it right

There is no single, magical movement modality that will lead to the ultimate biohacking results. Your cardiovascular system doesn’t really know the difference between running sprints and chasing your toddler, between high intensity interval training and re-organizing your office.

All it knows is how much oxygen is required and how to get it there. If the bones need to move, then the muscles need to contract, and blood needs to carry oxygen to enable the metabolism to make that happen. 

The single, most powerful type of exercise you can do is the one that you enjoy and are most likely to fit in today. That’s it. It’s just the showing up that matters.

Sure, maybe someday if you want to perform athletically at a certain level or compete against yourself or others, you will need to start incorporating measurable activities like running or weight lifting.

But if we are talking about the difference between doing something that brings ease and rejuvenation to your body during the day versus doing something that stresses you out or feels like too much, then definitely opt for what feels good. 

Finding the movement you enjoy will take some experimentation, which means getting out of your comfort zone a bit. If you say, “but I just don’t like exercise,” I promise that you just haven’t found the right thing yet.

Our bodies evolved to be active. The chemical responses to exercise alone have been linked to improved mood in multiple studies. There is no hierarchy of movement types. If you’re doing it at all, you’re doing it perfectly. 

5. Listen to your body to know what you need

Now herein lies the conundrum: in order to know what feels good you have to be able to sense your body. This might sound sort of obvious, but, seriously, do you have any idea what is happening in your body right now? Take 60 seconds to close your eyes and scan from head to toe.

I’ll bet you now realize there were sensations all over that you hadn’t noticed. 

The fact that you weren’t noticing them isn’t any kind of inherent flaw. If we were paying attention to every single tingle and twitch that arises we would never get anything done. And our nervous system would be on high alert all the time.

In a world of abundant stimuli, the ability to go into our heads and ignore our bodies has become a normal, even vital part of modern human life. 

The trouble is when we can’t figure out how to turn our body sensing abilities back on. Sometimes this detachment happens in a particularly dramatic way as a result of things like trauma, disordered eating or a need to distance ourselves from the intensity of certain emotions. In so many ways, learning how to unfeel can be essential to our survival.

But you must befriend your body and enter into a mutually respectful conversation in order to build a lasting and fulfilling movement practice.

This, too, will likely take time, but it starts with a question: “How does this feel?” The more we listen, the more we learn about what the body needs. Then we can stop guessing or leaning on outside guidance. 

All the tools you need to define a movement journey that brings you to your heart’s desires have been within you all along.