A Gratitude Practice That Meets You Where You Are

Gratitude is having a moment in the wellness space. It’s simple, it’s powerful, and it’s free. We often associate gratitude with the holidays, but growing research has made it a mainstay recommendation for improving well-being. Studies show that gratitude supports mental and physical health, increases resilience, and promotes stronger connection with others.

When we express gratitude, our brains release the “feel good” hormones dopamine and serotonin. A regular practice can rewire the neural pathways in the brain, influencing a change in our emotions and behavior. This might look like a better mood, lower stress, and even physical health improvements.

Honor how you’re feeling, even if it’s not all that grateful

To some, this might sound like a no-brainer. But I want to acknowledge for a moment that not everyone feels that way. For some people, it might feel like just another thing to do. You may feel skeptical, because as chronic illness patients, we try everything we can, and often feel let down when things don’t work the way we want them to. We want to be careful not to let the concept of practicing gratitude cross over into toxic positivity—the belief we must always stay positive even in the face of real hardship. 

Life is hard. Careers are challenging. Managing a chronic illness can be exhausting. It is true that being grateful and having a positive mindset goes a long way in navigating difficulties and living a meaningful life. But there is a time to grieve, lament, and feel the full range of your emotions. So let’s start there.

Practice feeling all of your emotions

My favorite mantra for feeling emotions is let it in, let it be, let it go.

• Let it in – notice what you are feeling right now, and let it flow through you without resistance
• Let it be – let yourself feel without judgment and without trying to change anything
• Let it go – you’ll naturally let emotion go once it’s been fully felt, so be mindful not to keep holding on, but do not force or try to rush this step

This isn’t easy for many of us who have been conditioned to suppress or fix our emotions rather than feel them. So be gentle with yourself, practice, and in time it will start to flow more easily. If you have children in your life who you spend time with, it may be interesting to watch the way their emotions move through them. 

They are much more skilled at letting what they are feeling in, and when given the space to feel it, they quickly rebound and move on. I recently noticed this when my 5-year-old niece was visiting, and it reminded me to not only hold space for her feelings but it reinforced the importance of holding space for my own.

Open your heart with a gentle backbend

Asanas are the physical practice of yoga that people are most familiar with. They can help to shift emotions by allowing energy to move through your body in a different way. The seven energy centers in the body, or the chakras, are located throughout the body from the crown of the head to the base of your spine. When in balance, the chakras allow energy to flow freely through the body.

The fourth chakra, the heart chakra, is located in the center of the chest and is associated with love, compassion, and joy. One way to balance this chakra is to practice gratitude, but I find that physically opening the body can create the channel for gratitude to flow more easily. One of my favorite poses for opening the heart chakra is the backbend known as Supported Fish Pose.

Get set up

• Place a yoga bolster (or a pillow) vertically on your mat, or the floor
• Sit with your knees bent, feet flat on the floor
• Scoot back so your sacrum meets the base of the bolster, then gently lie back
• Drape your upper body over the bolster, feeling a gentle backbend

Get comfortable

• Keep your knees bent, or outstretch your legs based on what feels best
• Arms rest by your sides, palms face up 
• Stay here for as long as you’d like; set a timer if that helps you let go
• Focus on slow, steady breaths and the sensation of your chest opening

Come out slowly

• Bend your knees if legs were extended and roll off the bolster to one side
• Slowly make your way up to a seated position
• Take a moment to notice how you feel, and if anything has shifted

You may feel more space in your front body, improved mobility in the spine, and a calmer, more relaxed mind.

Start a written gratitude practice

Psychology tells us that our brains have the unconscious cognitive ability to filter for what we are most focused on. That’s why the more time you take to practice gratitude, the more you start to notice things each day that you are grateful for. It’s all about training your brain to notice the good that surrounds you.

Create a schedule that will work for you

• Choose a frequency, whether it be daily or three times a week
• Decide when feels best—a morning lift, or quiet reflection at the end of the day?
• If you thrive with structure, add it to your calendar for selected days and times
• If you prefer flexibility, note it as a priority and let your day flow to it naturally

Gather what you need

• Any paper or pen will do
• If handwriting isn’t accessible for you, get what you need to type or use speech-to-text
• Find a quiet space where you’ll be comfortable and free of distractions
• You may choose to light a candle, or put on gentle music to soften the experience

Write, reflect, and integrate

• Write down one to five things you’re grateful for (more if they flow easily)
• As you write each item, let yourself feel the sensation of being grateful for that thing
• Take a moment when you’re done to notice what came up for you
• Consider how you might invite more of what nourishes you into your daily life

Start with small things that light you up, like cozy socks, a warm cup of tea, or clean sheets on your bed. Embracing these often overlooked things will open you up to feel more joy on any given day and makes gratitude more accessible during challenging times.

Spread the love

Gratitude feels even better when it’s shared. Find ways to express gratitude with those around you as often as you can. Some ideas to get started might include:

• A weekly check-in with your partner, where you take a moment to share your appreciation for each other before jumping into to-do lists and plans
• A game at the dinner table, where everyone says one thing they’re thankful for
• A gratitude jar on the counter, where you invite everyone who visits your home to write down one thing they’re grateful for

These kinds of small rituals help us practice expressing appreciation and create a habit of doing it more regularly, without the prompts.

Take it at your own pace

Create your gratitude practice in a way that feels sustainable and nourishing to you. Start with what speaks to you, whether that be tuning into your emotions or writing down a few small joys. This series of practices could also be done as a sequence in one restorative afternoon or spread out over several weeks:

• Connect with your emotions – practice the mantra let it in, let it be, let it go
• Open your heart – spend a few minutes in Supported Fish Pose
• Write it down – journal one to five things you’re grateful for
• Share your gratitude – tell someone how much you appreciate them

My invitation to you is to start where you are, return when you can, and let your gratitude grow from there. May your practice meet you with softness, ease, and provide you with exactly what you need.