New year. Same Beautiful You. A guide to gently easing into the new year

It’s that time of year again. New Year’s resolutions. Discounted fitness memberships. ‘New year, new you’ marketing everywhere. But what if you started this year without feeling like you had to change anything? What if you already felt like you were exactly where you needed to be right now, just the way you are?

Thriving while still striving

It can be hard to accept and embrace ourselves exactly as we are today while still seeking self-improvement. Acceptance can feel scary, both as a high achiever and as a chronic illness patient. But accepting your situation is not the same thing as giving up, and it does not mean you will end up stuck where you are. There’s a deep relief that comes from acceptance. The kind you get from a long exhale.

Avoiding or pushing against our reality, on the other hand, only holds us back. When you let go of that resistance, you let your nervous system know you’re safe. You let go of the fear and the struggles that take vital energy from you. You take back your power and open up the space to truly thrive. No matter how much we wish certain realities weren’t true, accepting them with compassion helps us move forward.

I’ve accepted over time that my energy levels are not what I want them to be. I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that chronic fatigue is part of living with endometriosis. I’ve made a lot of changes in my life to take care of myself in a way that honors that truth. At the same time, I am always learning more about my condition and exploring ways to treat the root causes of fatigue. 

For me, this is what it looks like to thrive without letting go of the strive. Allowing acceptance and growth to coexist creates a strong foundation for us to build on. Grounded by this understanding, let’s explore some ways to ease into the year ahead.

Set an intention for the year instead of a resolution

The Sanskrit word Sankalpa is the term used in yogic philosophy that refers to intention-setting. It can be a deeply spiritual practice if you’d like it to be, or simply a tool to become more focused on what’s most important to you. Having a clear intention is like having a North Star for how you want to live your life. It is a commitment that aligns your actions with how you want to be instead of what you want to achieve. To set an intention for the year ahead:

• Find a quiet space where you are comfortable
• Meditate or sit quietly, focusing on each inhale and exhale while you still your mind
• Ask yourself what you desire most deeply, and write down what comes up
• Pick your top desire and craft it into a positive, present-tense statement
• Repeat it to yourself silently or aloud at least three times

A final present-tense statement may be, “I am healing every day in every way,” or “I welcome abundance into my life”. This kind of intention-setting is long-term and purpose-driven, so we grow into it over time. After you set yours, try to live into it each day. Write it out to keep it somewhere visible and repeat it to yourself regularly. If you feel like you’re getting off track, take time to reconnect with your intention and reflect on why it is important to you.

Align with how you want to feel

Identifying core desired feelings, like intention-setting, is all about internal alignment over outward goals. The idea is to take time to establish how you want to feel each day, and let that information guide how you take action and make decisions. This practice, popularized by Danielle LaPorte, aims to help you create a life that is more focused on how you’re feeling and less on what you’re achieving.

Start similarly to how you prepared for intention-setting by finding a quiet space. Get comfortable and become still. When it comes time to reflect and write, ask yourself:

• What feelings make me come alive?
• What do I want to feel more of?
• What makes me feel most aligned with my true self?

With your answers in mind, brainstorm how you want to feel in the different areas of your life. Review your list to find common themes and choose three to five feeling words that resonate the most for you. After they’re set, feel free to change them up as often as you need. My guiding words for this past year were calm, joy, and ease. I used this list to guide my actions, decisions, and commitments. 

Create space to reflect on the past year

Once you feel more connected to your internal wisdom, taking time to reflect on the events and patterns of the past year is a powerful way to transition into the new year. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, performs this kind of annual review each year, asking himself three questions:

• What went well this year?
• What didn’t go so well this year?
• What am I working toward?

I was once on a team that held a retrospective like this at the end of every two weeks. We would discuss what went well and what could have gone better on all of our recent projects. It was an opportunity for us to collectively celebrate our wins and productively discuss challenges. This kind of reflection, whether done on a team or as an individual, gives you the chance to take well-deserved victory laps and confront obstacles head-on.

I highly recommend conducting your own personal retrospective at least once a year. You can free-flow write out your responses to the questions above, or answer in more of a bullet list style. Change up the questions if you’d like and consider sharing what comes up for you with others. That way, you can cheer each other on and offer encouragement for what’s next.

Mindfully set priorities for the new year

Let your intention, core desired feelings, and retrospective guide you to set clear priorities for the upcoming year. I’d recommend setting anywhere from one to five, but more than that can get overwhelming. Reflect on how your energy will be best spent, what will make you feel supported, and what challenges inspire you. Use your reflections as a foundation for establishing what priorities matter most to you and plan to align your time accordingly.

If it is helpful, you could think about your priorities in terms of different life domains. At the beginning of this year, Lilly Stairs, Chronic Boss Founder & CEO, led a session where we thought about the year ahead against the following categories. You could use these as a guide, or create your own:

• Personal Growth
• Health & Wellness
• Career Goals
• Passions & Joy
• Relationships & Community

If you’d like, get more granular to set goals and supporting actions that fit under each priority. Just remember that less is often more! To help reduce overwhelm, create a backlog of items that you don’t want to forget but aren’t priorities today and put those aside for now. Another option is to think in terms of quarters instead of the full year.

Let things flow

Life will happen, so give yourself grace and make adjustments as the year unfolds. If one of these practices above resonates with you the most, start there. If you prefer to do them all in order, that’s an option too. Go gently into the new year and know that you are exactly where you need to be right now.