How Therapy Can Help and Where to Find a Therapist When You’re Living with Chronic Illness

Living with a chronic illness or health condition can often feel like a full-time job. You’re managing unpredictable flare-ups, navigating a rollercoaster of symptoms, and trying to stay present in your career, relationships, and day-to-day life. 

While therapy won’t “fix” your condition, it can offer a much-needed space for support, reflection, and healing. You deserve a place to process the stress and grief that often accompany chronic illness, explore how it’s impacting your identity and self-worth, and develop tools to manage anxiety, burnout, and uncertainty, all while continuing to show up for the parts of life that matter to you.

Searching for a therapist can feel daunting, especially when your energy is already limited. And if you’ve ever been told “it’s all in your head” or “just manage your stress better,” therapy might feel like yet another place where you have to defend your experience.

Your symptoms are real. They’re not “just stress.” Still, we know that the mind and body are deeply connected and therapy can be a vital part of feeling more grounded, connected, and supported.

This article will walk you through why therapy can be so helpful for ambitious women living with chronic illness, and how to find a therapist who truly understands what you’re going through.

Why Seek Therapy When You’re Living with Chronic Illness

In my work as a therapist supporting ambitious women navigating chronic illness, I often hear clients say they’re tired of carrying everything on their own. They’ve learned to keep showing up for everyone else, even when their bodies are screaming for rest. They’re holding their lives together while privately coping with discomfort, uncertainty, and anxiety.

Therapy can be a valuable support when you’re:

• Trying to hold everything together on your own
  
• Managing flares while giving presentations, meeting deadlines, and juggling a full life
  
• Feeling unseen or misunderstood by friends who say “but you don’t look sick!” or “but you were fine last weekend!” when you need to cancel plans
  
• Grieving the version of yourself that wasn’t burdened by symptoms or medical uncertainty
  
• Wanting to care for your health without losing sight of your goals, passions, and identity
  
• Navigating anxiety before doctor’s appointments or feeling overwhelmed by past medical trauma
  

In sessions, we often explore what it means to live with invisible illness while staying connected to your values, relationships, and ambitions. Therapy can offer a compassionate space to lay everything down and figure out what it could feel like to thrive, not just survive, with chronic health conditions.

Why Work with a Therapist Who Specializes in Chronic Illness

One of the most common things I hear from clients is how exhausting it is to explain their illness to yet another person. They’re tired of feeling unheard, questioned, or like they need to justify what they’re experiencing.

As a therapist who specializes in chronic illness and lives with my own chronic health conditions, I’ve seen how transformative it can be when someone feels understood from the start. You don’t have to justify what you’re going through or teach me about your symptoms. We can begin at a place of shared understanding.

A chronic illness-informed therapist brings:

• A deeper awareness of how illness intersects with identity, career, relationships, and self-worth
  
• Validation for the invisible parts of your experience
  
• Tailored strategies that respect your fluctuating capacity and energy levels
  
• Insight into the emotional impacts of medical gaslighting, misdiagnosis, or long diagnostic journeys
  

Therapy can be one of the few spaces where you don’t have to explain or justify. You can just be, and see the value in showing up as you are. That in itself can be deeply healing.

How to Find a Therapist

Finding the right therapist takes effort and can feel daunting. Here are some places to start: 

Online directories

Online directories like Psychology Today, Zencare, TherapyDen, and Inclusive Therapists can be a great place to start. 

Tips: Directories can have thousands of therapists, which can feel overwhelming! Most directories have filters to help narrow your search. In addition to filtering for logistical things like location and insurance, try using the “chronic illness” or similar filter

Word of mouth

Ask friends or peers in chronic illness communities if they’ve worked with someone they trust and recommend

Note that often times you can’t work with your best friend or family member’s therapist due to it being a conflict of interest, but their therapist might have someone great to recommend!

Referrals from your care team

Ask a trusted provider on your care team if they know of any therapists who they tend to work with and refer to. 

For example, your cardiologist might know of a great therapist who works with POTS patients, or your pelvic floor physical therapist might have a recommendation for a therapist who really gets endometriosis 

Condition-specific communities: Facebook groups and national associations for your condition may often have therapist recommendations or resource lists.

What to Ask a Potential Therapist

Many therapists offer a free consultation call to see if it feels like a good fit. This is a great time to briefly share what you’re looking for and ask questions.

Here’s an example of what you might say:

“I’m navigating a recent diagnosis of endometriosis, and it’s been really overwhelming to balance my health with work and my social life. I’ve been feeling more anxious lately, and I think therapy could help me adjust and cope with everything I’m managing.”

Questions to consider asking during a consultation:

• Do you have experience working with clients who have chronic illness or my specific condition?
  
• What approaches or modalities do you use?

Note: There are lots of different modalities that therapists may use! In my work with chronic illness, I tend to incorporate a lot of ACT based work. Other therapists may incorporate EMDR or other trauma-focused modalities

• How do we track progress or measure goals in therapy?
  
• Do you offer in-person or telehealth sessions?
  
• What are your fees? Do you take insurance or offer a sliding scale?
  

You’re allowed to ask these questions. In fact, I encourage my own clients to ask them- it helps create a foundation of mutual trust and fit is so important!

Summary

In my experience, clients often feel a deep shift when they realize therapy can be a space not just to cope, but to reconnect with parts of themselves they thought were lost to illness like creativity, ambition, joy, and self-trust. You deserve a space like that, too.

Research shows that the strongest predictor of a positive therapy outcome isn’t the modality that’s used- it’s the relationship between you and your therapist. You deserve to feel heard, supported, and respected.

It might take a few sessions, or even a few therapists, to find the right fit, and that’s okay. You’re allowed to advocate for yourself, ask questions, and keep looking until you find someone who feels like the right partner on your healing journey.

Therapy won’t make your chronic illness disappear. But it can give you tools, insight, and support to live more fully, even in a body that doesn’t always cooperate.

You don’t have to carry this all alone. And you don’t have to choose between caring for your health and caring for your dreams. With the right support, you can do both.

Author: Melissa