Tips on Thriving This Holiday Season

This is hands down the busiest time of the year for everyone, and yet it is the exact opposite when it comes to the natural world. We enter the holiday season with a “finishing strong” mindset for our businesses and forget the beauty in slowing down to soak up what the year has brought us. I believe that holiday-season burnout (and end-of-year burnout) stems from not being present and from not having tools in our toolbox that we can refer to in order to help keep us aligned.

As someone who was not only diagnosed with CPTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder)—with some of my major triggers being around the holidays—but who has also lived with IBD for 21 years, this combination can make visiting people, eating different foods, or finding myself in other people’s restrooms much more difficult. I am, essentially, The Badass expert on how to thrive during the holidays in a non–toxic positivity way, which involves honoring the duality of what this time of year can bring up for everyone.

1. Set expectations

This has to do with setting expectations not only with your loved ones, but with yourself as well. I have found myself more hurt and upset by my own expectations around the holidays than by ever disappointing or upsetting someone else. Even this past Thanksgiving, I realized (too late) that I had set the expectation that I would feel good throughout the day, and did not take safe foods into account. It turned into a messy weekend for me and did not help emotionally.

It is hard to set ourselves up for success if we are not meeting ourselves where we currently are. Our symptoms do not go away just because it is a specific day of the year or because we wish them to. Unfortunately, we have to meet ourselves right where we are.

2. Keep to your boundaries

This one is hard. Peer pressure and people-pleasing are real things to navigate on a day-to-day basis, but they become 10x harder around the holidays. The amount of times I have abandoned my own needs in order to meet someone else’s deadline during this season is more than I would like to admit.

When I say I am OOO, that means I am out of office and refuse to sign back on—for any reason, for anyone. Even working for myself now, especially working for myself, I have to remember that I come first. If I have set aside time, I need to honor it.

3. Routines (especially if flaring—or find your flare without them)

When the holidays come around, so does potential travel and new plans. For a lot of us chronically ill baddies, this can either exacerbate a current flare or potentially put us into a mini—or even major—flare.

One thing that has always helped me stay within my health “guardrails” is sticking to pieces of my routine. Some years, that means prioritizing it almost entirely, especially when it comes to sleep. I may be experiencing an erratic sleep schedule due to Prednisone (IYKYK), but that does not mean I have to make it even more chaotic.

At the same time, sometimes we need to stay up late and live with our loved ones. Sometimes the extra spoons are worth it for the memories (and I can promise you, most of the time they are). You just have to be aware of what works for you and commit to it.

4. Grace

Not only a holiday theme, but a personal one as well—and something us chronically ill, Type A individuals often struggle to give ourselves. Grace to slow down. Grace to pause and be present with both our small and big wins from the year. Grace for wherever our health currently is, even if it is nowhere near where we want it to be.

Sometimes, things just have to be. We have to simply be. The holidays are not about running around trying to get everything done in one month; they are an opportunity to reflect and be grateful for everything that has already happened.

Remember, all of this is much easier to write and say than it is to do. But I believe the more aware we are of what comes up for us during the holiday season, the more in tune we can be with what we need in order to enjoy it…and truly be present.